Popping the Question

Marriage is an oddball subject for me. Out of the three of us I am the only one not married (albeit as long as my boyfriend and I have been together this is only a technicality). We live in a state where people marry young, only a couple years out of high school. Somewhere from 23 to 26 around here you start feeling like an old maid if your not married, which is a little bizarre when you consider that most of the country this is when people barely start looking at marriage. A big reason I haven’t taken the plunge yet is money (weddings can be pricey and it means a lot to my family that the ceremony is a big to do), but the other big reason is it doesn’t feel right getting married when so many people that I hold dear can’t. That whole debate pulls me a lot of ways. In a lot of ways it’s just a word being fought over. If it comes down to the word is so important I’ll hand over that battle, take a new word and give it equal legal rights and leave the marriage itself battle to religion, then go have the double wedding me and my best friend promised each other when we were twelve and didn’t know that when we grew up I’d be able to get married and she wouldn’t even though we already knew we’d be shopping for three dresses and a tux instead of two of each.

The other thing I’m a little odd on is the proposal part of the whole process. There’s a lot of unspoken promises that go into a proposal. To me the elaborate popping the question is both silly and necessary. It’s silly because I don’t like being wasteful. I hate the idea of dropping a ton of money on a ring just to ask a question. I’d much rather something practical. But the spending the money means something else. I’ve heard before an engagement ring should be equal to two months wages. This is a lot of money regardless of how much you make. It takes a lot of financial discipline to save two months of wages, and in many cases a lot of time. This shows two things 1) you have the financial maturity that is necessary to take care of a family and plan for a future (how many couples do you know that fight endlessly over money problems that just can’t seem to save) and 2) the time it takes to save the money helps to give the time to get to know the person and really be sure you want to make that kind of commitment.

But like I said I don’t like the ring thing. Now if he proposed with an awesome custom comp equal to the whole two months wages thing then you got me. We can get a pretty ring later when shopping for wedding bands.

The proposal itself is important too, but not because of how much you spend. Really making that moment something memorable shows you care. Shows you are willing to take the time to plan something like that. That’s why a good proposal is important. And it doesn’t have to be flashy to be memorable. Little details that show they matter to you can over shadow all the glitz in the world in a heart beat.

The Etsy artists featured in this article are:

ecoblingcouture, cottonbirddesigns, peacecreanegreetings, MyPrimitiveBoutique, CosmicGirl, icehousecrafts, HudsonBlockCo, justgivemepeace, saplanet, chanyeevon, WalkerWorld, AvivJewelry, greenleafpickcompany, sideproject, boxx, JensJewellery, AutumnSkyAdornments, ccj2, stephcraig, dillondesigns, theriveriseverywhere, MinterandRichterDes, guyincognito, and stoutwoodworks

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: feature – “popping the question” by lotus workshop « saplanet originals craftblog
  2. Yee Von
    Jun 27, 2010 @ 17:51:15

    Thanks for featuring my card 🙂

    Love,
    yee von

    Reply

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